Wednesday, December 17, 2014

SPAM the other Mystery Meat


"Why hide in the shadows when you can shine" - GOODSTUFF





The official Hacker's Jargon (3.2.0) meaning

:spam: vt.  [from "Monty Python's Flying Circus"] 1. To crash a program by overrunning a fixed-size buffer with excessively large input data.

2. To cause a newsgroup / blog  to be flooded with irrelevant or inappropriate messages. You can spam a newsgroup with as little as one well- (or ill-) planned message

 

The Ballad of Jed Spampett 

Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed
Poor white trash, kinda crazy in the head
Then one day as he was shootin, at some food
Up from the ground came those cans of blue

           Spam that is
           Pink and sweet
           Mystery Meat

Well the next thing you know, he could feed the whole clan
When out of the woods popped a Hormel man
He said Spamabama is the place you oughta' be
So they loaded up the truck but only got to Antrey

           Hill folks that is
           Make you squeal!!!
           Bubba ville!!!

Well now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his clan
And they would like to thank you folks for chockin'down that Spam
Your all invited back 'ere morn to this localaty
To take a shot and see if ya got a case of dispepsy

           Gas pain that is!!!
           Indegestion
           Moan and groan
           Get the Rolaids !! Ya hear?!





 From 1939 SPAM, the canned pork meat, became ubiquitous both in the UK. A although rationed, it was generally easily available and not subject to supply shortages, as were other meats

Margaret Thatcher had fond memories of SPAM and actually referred to it once as a “wartime delicacy”




Nikita Khrushchev went much further and actually said: “without SPAM we wouldn't have been able to feed our army”

Some soldiers referred to Spam as "ham that didn't pass its physical" and "meatloaf without basic training."


 

Those rumors of President-Obama being a Muslim have been laid to rest by his very visible consumption of a porky pan-Asian fusion delicacy--well that's what fancy food folks will be calling Spam musubi now that Obama noshed on one while playing golf, making the Hawaiian snack chic. 


Old man seeks doctor.
"I eat SPAM daily", he says.
Angioplasty





5 comments:

Katy Anders said...

REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.

WE ARE TOP OFFICIAL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL WHO ARE INTERESTED IN IMPORATION OF GOODS INTO OUR COUNTRY WITH FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN NIGERIA. IN ORDER TO COMMENCE THIS BUSINESS WE SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE US TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THE SAID TRAPPED FUNDS.

THE SOURCE OF THIS FUND IS AS FOLLOWS; DURING THE LAST MILITARY REGIME HERE IN NIGERIA, THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS SET UP COMPANIES AND AWARDED THEMSELVES CONTRACTS WHICH WERE GROSSLY OVER-INVOICED IN VARIOUS MINISTRIES. THE PRESENT CIVILIAN GOVERNMENT SET UP A CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL AND WE HAVE IDENTIFIED A LOT OF INFLATED CONTRACT FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY FLOATING IN THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA READY FOR PAYMENT.

HOWEVER, BY VIRTUE OF OUR POSITION AS CIVIL SERVANTS AND MEMBERS OF THIS PANEL, WE CANNOT ACQUIRE THIS MONEY IN OUR NAMES. I HAVE THEREFORE, BEEN DELEGATED AS A MATTER OF TRUST BY MY COLLEAGUES OF THE PANEL TO LOOK FOR AN OVERSEAS PARTNER INTO WHOSE ACCOUNT WE WOULD TRANSFER THE SUM OF US$21,320,000.00(TWENTY ONE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND U.S DOLLARS). HENCE WE ARE WRITING YOU THIS LETTER. WE HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THE MONEY THUS; 1. 20% FOR THE ACCOUNT OWNER 2. 70% FOR US (THE OFFICIALS) 3. 10% TO BE USED IN SETTLING TAXATION AND ALL LOCAL AND FOREIGN EXPENSES. IT IS FROM THE 70% THAT WE WISH TO COMMENCE THE IMPORTATION BUSINESS.

PLEASE,NOTE THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE AND WE HOPE TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER LATEST SEVEN (7) BANKING DAYS FROM THE DATE OF THE RECEIPT OF THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIOM BY TEL/FAX; 234-1-7740449, YOUR COMPANY'S SIGNED, AND STAMPED LETTERHEAD PAPER THE ABOVE INFORMATION WILL ENABLE US WRITE LETTERS OF CLAIM AND JOB DESCRIPTION RESPECTIVELY. THIS WAY WE WILL USE YOUR COMPANY'S NAME TO APPLY FOR PAYMENT AND RE-AWARD THE CONTRACT IN YOUR COMPANY'S NAME.

WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU AND SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSATION. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER USING THE ABOVE TEL/FAX NUMBERS. I WILL SEND YOU DETAILED INFORMATION OF THIS PENDING PROJECT WHEN I HAVE HEARD FROM YOU.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

DR CLEMENT OKON

NOTE; PLEASE QUOTE THIS REFERENCE NUMBER (VE/S/09/99) IN ALL YOUR RESPONSES.

Soylent Green said...

Sounds legit to me, KA.

Reaganite Republican said...

I've always thought of Spam is a kind of meat alloy

And you left out the Monty Python 'Spam Restaurant' bit!!!

Otherwise acceptable post lol

Anonymous said...

My Dad always carried a can of Spam in his saddlebags. Uncle Bobby would use his pocketknife to cut off slices for us with the usual grin and remark about just trimming his toenails with the same knife. Great Spam memories.
---sage

Chromodynamix said...

Spam was the Soylent Green of it's day!