Monday, January 16, 2017

Funky Accordion of Power


Since the accordion delivers such a powerful hypnotic spell towards the opposite sex, accordionists must be very careful when wielding this instrument. With great power comes great responsibility

Raves, keggers, and bachelor parties are fine, but nothing can compete with the wild orgy that is the accordion party. While these parties tend to result in either jail time or lost of innocence, they are still worthwhile for the unique experience they provide. (Except in Bangkok. Avoid accordion parties in Bangkok. Don’t ask why. Just don’t.) 

The accordion’s music is the language of love, which knows no geopolitical boundaries… well, except the Intergalactic Aliens. The Aliens’ hatred for the accordion burns with the fury of a million suns. I could go into the history behind it, but it is a painful story. So, out of respect for our Alien readers, I’ll refrain.

The real chick magnet is the accordion. Believe the hype!

The lure of substance abuse is no stranger to rock stars, but nothing compared to the world of accordionists. 

 If you are the sensitive type, Don't play this weirdness

Indeed, there is something primal, something bestial about the accordion.  As Danielle Colby Cushman (American Pickers chick) might of once said, “I am not a demon. I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther...

 That just wants to be a Noted Accordion Player

Mama's Got a Squeezebox
She wears on her chest
And when Daddy comes home
He never gets no rest

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